Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Sweet 16

Sweet 16.  That milestone birthday marker, has been bittersweet.  While we are so thankful to have Lydia with us, to celebrate her, who she is, and her part in our family, we have also had to swallow many lumps, and fight back tears, at the many difficulties she continues to face each day, and the normal teenage experiences that are out of her grasp.

One week before that tragic day in 2012 that changed the trajectory of Lydia's life, I had picked her up after school from track practice, and we had driven home and stopped into our Farm Market at the front of our farm.  When it was time to head home, I asked Lydia if she wanted to drive the car down the lane.  With bright eyes and a huge smile, she got into the driver's seat.  She very cautiously followed instructions and drove the car home.  I have revisited that memory countless times in recent weeks.  I'm so glad I gave her that short moment of "grown up" responsibility and greatness.  And sadly, I wonder if she will ever be able to drive.  Will she have the mental capacity and awareness to safely operate a motorized vehicle?  We hope and pray that her brain injury will continue to heal.

Lydia has made some inching progress in the past few months.  She still struggles greatly with mood regulation and bipolar symptoms, racing thoughts, anxiety, sleep disorders, and concentration.  2014 was a very challenging year  - admittedly a harder one than 2012.  Lydia suffered many set backs last year.  As we turned the calendar to 2015, we began to see glimmers of hope.  More recently, she has been able to attend school, with a teacher or support worker.  We are so grateful that her school community accepts and encourages Lydia in her journey of recovery.  For much of first semester, she was absent from school - working with teachers or therapists from home, as she was able.  Now, in second semester, she is taking Art, in addition to continuing her choral music course. This is a small step, but still one to celebrate!  She so wants to be a part of school life, and spend time with her peers!  She also wants to join every sports team, and every club!  This is the old Lydia asserting herself, and the new Lydia has trouble accepting her limitations, and living in the reality of them. 

She is learning to dribble a basket ball, and like we did when she was little, we cheer her on when she progresses from being able to dribble 5 times without fumbling, to 15 times, and so on!  She tries very hard, and it is heart breaking, as parents, to see it be harder to master these skills this second time, than it was the first time.

We try to encourage Lydia to embrace who she is being recreated to be, to accept that she is different than before, and to trust God with the plans that He has for her.  We commend her when she uses the abilities that she has to make a difference.  She has a big heart (and smile), and in her slow, articulate manner, she often goes out of her way to encourage others, and to bring them cheer.  She inspires people with out even knowing why.  These are hidden gifts in this difficult journey that we need to discover, and treasure.

In uncertain times, we stand on the certain truth that God is faithful; that He will never leave us or forsake us; that He is for us; that He loves us; and that He who began a good work will carry it on to completion.  We rest in Him.

We invite your renewed or continued prayers for Lydia.  Thank you.

For decades, we have loved the hymn, It Is Well With My Soul, by Horatio G. Spafford.  We have sung it in worship services and funerals,  at home with guitar, or piano, or in the car, reminding ourselves of the peace that is ours when we trust in Jesus.  The first verse begins:
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Bethel Music has a beautiful song based on this old hymn.  May it have you singing too.  And may it be well with you.

It Is Well - Kristene DiMarco & Bethel Music - You Make Me Brave


Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me
Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can’t see
And this mountain that’s in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

Written by Kristene DiMarco © 2013 Bethel Music Publishing (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.